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10 smart questions that will make people remember you and like you in 2020




After 20 years as a writer and journalist, I have learned a bit about asking people good introductory questions and keeping them talking. So if your 2020 resolution is to improve on this, I hope you find it useful.

Below I will share my best general tips, plus 10 examples of questions you can use to start conversations. They will continue the discussion and make people feel positive to you and remember you.

First, the overall tips. All effective icebreaker questions have three important things in common:

  • They are open . The one thing you don't want to do is ask a yes or no question, or that can be answered in just a few words. Your goal is to awaken conversation.
  • They are specific . This may seem like the opposite of open, but it is not. You will focus the conversation, hopefully on a topic that will be interesting and even fun, but cause you to put your foot in your mouth.
  • They are multifaceted . Preferably, you will ask a question that will suggest the answer to several other questions. So if you ask someone what they did over the weekend, you might also ask them about their family, friends and values.

Listen to the answers!

I cannot stress this enough: It is a more basic, crucial tip before we are asked about the examples.

When asking an icebreaker question, you must listen actively to the answer!

So many people forget this. They ask the question, the other person starts talking, they immediately turn off ̵

1; look for someone else to talk to, or decide that the answer wasn't interesting enough.

Remember that your job is not done with one question.

Instead, listen and come up with two to three follow-up questions.

This is how a real conversation works.

Here are 10 examples to get you started:

1. If our industry did not exist, what do you think you would do to live?

I like that this one starts because it is professional, but it is not predictable or boring. Depending on the answer, you can immediately go back to talk about the industry you are sharing, if it seems more appropriate. Or you can ask follow-ups that can tell you a lot about the person you just met.

2. Have you ever had a bad job? (Follow-up: Did you learn anything useful from it?)

I asked the subscribers to my daily email newsletter about this question, and the answers were amazing. Much talk about working in restaurants. (My bad job history was about working in a customer center.) Almost everyone has a story like this, and most people like to share the bright side, if they can identify it.

3. How was your first apartment?

This is a great question because it can bring nostalgia, and it's probably about a time before they achieved their current success. People like to talk about it. If you happen to ask someone who is still living their first apartment, it opens up a whole other line of inquiry.

4. Have you had 15 minutes of fame?

Claire Lew of Know Your Team gets the credit for this one. It can be defined in so many ways, and sometimes you will learn fascinating things about people. So far, my 15 minutes had to do with quitting a job after a day, writing about it, being interviewed on national television and wound up with my picture on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon . But I hope for something better on the road.

5. What is your favorite children's book?

I love this one because you actually ask several questions. One is whether the other person has children. If they do, and you do, boom: instant report. But even if they do not, they can reach into childhood or to the experiences of nieces or nephews or other children, and come up with an answer.

6. You just learned that they make a movie about your life, and you control the cast. Who's going to play you?

Again, you ask more than one question – both who will play them (often based on appearance), but also: why should they make a movie about you? What would it be about? The follow-ups almost write themselves.

7. What fashion trend should we bring back?

As an alternative: "What word should we all start using again?" But I think people sometimes get blunt when you ask them words. Everyone can talk about clothes.

8. What is the biggest change you have experienced in the last ten years?

This will be especially good for a few more weeks when we launch a new decade, or if you're ice-breaking on a New Year's Eve. I used it on my email newsletter and you learn interesting things. In real life, I asked an acquaintance lately, who replied, "It's easy. Getting out of jail." I had no idea.

9. What's the best thing you've read lately?

I like to ask it this way because not everyone reads many books, and some people feel self-conscious about it. So the best "thing" they have read can refer to an article or blog post (or a column on Inc.com). You really ask them what they think is interesting. Most people like to talk about it.

10. What exactly did you do a week ago?

You can give the person good feed for a story, or you can ask them to swing quickly. For example, my literal answer to this question right now would be: "Packing to go away for Christmas." But it could easily lead to a description of where we went and what we did, and that would be far more interesting.

The views expressed here by the Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

Below I will share my best general tips, plus 10 examples of questions you can use to start conversations. They will continue the discussion and make people feel positive to you and remember you.

n

First, the overall tips. All effective icebreaker questions have three important things in common:

n

    t

  • They are open . The one thing you don't want to do is ask a yes or no question, or that can be answered in just a few words. Your goal is to awaken conversation.
  • t

  • They are specific . This may seem like the opposite of open, but it is not. You will focus the conversation, hopefully on a topic that will be interesting and even fun, but cause you to put your foot in your mouth.
  • t

  • They are multifaceted . Preferably, you will ask a question that will suggest the answer to several other questions. So if you ask someone about what they did over the weekend, you might also ask them about their family, friends and values.

n

Listen to the answers!

n

I cannot emphasize this enough: It is a more basic, crucial tip before we get into questions about the sample.

n

When you ask an icebreaker question, you must listen actively to the answer!

n

So many people forget this. They ask the question, the other person starts talking, they immediately turn off - look for someone else to talk to, or decide that the answer wasn't interesting enough.

n

Remember that your job is not done with one question.

n

Instead, listen and come up with two to three follow-up questions.

n

Here's how a real conversation works.

n

Here are 10 samples you can use to get started:

n

1. If our industry did not exist, what do you think you would do to live?

n

I like that this one starts because it's professional, but it's not predictable or boring. Depending on the answer, you can immediately go back to talk about the industry you are sharing, if it seems more appropriate. Or you can ask follow-ups that can tell you a lot about the person you just met.

n

2. Have you ever had a bad job? (Follow-up: Did you learn anything useful from it?)

n

I asked subscribers for my daily email newsletter about this question, and the answers were amazing. Much talk about working in restaurants. (My bad job history was about working in a customer center.) Almost everyone has a story like this, and most people like to share the bright side, if they can identify it.

n

3. How was your first apartment?

n

This is a great question because it can lead to nostalgia, and it's probably about a time before they achieved their current success. People like to talk about it. If you ask someone who is still living in their first apartment, it opens up a completely different line of inquiry.

n

4. Have you had 15 minutes of fame?

n

Claire Lew of Know Your Team is honored. It can be defined in so many ways, and sometimes you will learn fascinating things about people. So far, my 15 minutes had to do with quitting a job after a day, writing about it, being interviewed on national television and wound up with my picture on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon . But I hope for a better way.

n

5. What is your favorite children's book?

n

I love this one because you actually ask several questions. One is whether the other person has children. If they do, and you do, boom: instant report. But even if they do not, they can reach into childhood, or to their experiences with nieces or nephews or other children, and come up with an answer.

n

6. You just learned that they make a movie about your life and you control the cast. Who's going to play you?

n

Again, you ask more than one question - both who will play them (often based on appearance), but also: why should they make a movie about you? What would it be about? The follow-ups almost write themselves.

n

7. What fashion trend should we bring back?

n

As an alternative: "What word should we all start using again? " But I think people sometimes get blunt when you ask them words. Everyone can talk about clothes.

n

8. What is the biggest change you have experienced in the last ten years?

n

This one will be especially good for a few more weeks as we launch a new decade, or if you're on a New Year's Eve break. I used it on my email newsletter and you learn interesting things. In real life, I asked an acquaintance lately, who answered, "It's easy. Getting out of jail." I had no idea.

n

9. What is the best thing you have read recently?

n

I like to ask it this way because not everyone reads many books, and some people feel self-conscious about it. So the best "thing" they have read can refer to an article or blog post (or a column on Inc.com). You really ask them what they think is interesting. Most people like to talk about it.

n

10. What exactly did you do a week ago?

n

You can give the person good feed for a story, or you can ask them to swing quickly. For example, my literal answer to this question right now would be: "Packing to go away for Christmas." But it could easily lead to a description of where we went and what we did and it would be much more interesting .

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Register on Bill & # 39; s Inc. This Morning newsletter. "," aut_footer_blurb ":" Bill Murphy Jr. is a contributing editor on Inc.com. Contact and bio at www.billmurphyjr.com "," aut_column_name ":" Action Required "," aut_atyid ": 2," aut_newsletter_location ":" https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1mOdRBhhoAnBRvskiXwtgZUZ0CWxVTIJNZuQl "https://www.incimages.com/uploaded_files/image/100x100/Bill-Murphy_51492.png", "sorting": null}] "images": [{"id":409876,"sortorder":null}] "inlineimages": [] "photoEssaySlides": null , "readMoreArticles": null, "slideshows": [] "videos": [] "bzwidgets": null, "relatedarticles": null, "comparisongrids": [] "products": [] "keys" : ["Lead","Grow","Wire","Public Speaking","Bill Murphy Jr.","Columnist"] "meta_description": "If you hate networking and you are not good at asking " icebreaker "questions, this is the list for you.", "Brandview": null, "internationalversion": [] " image models ": [{"id":409876,"img_foreignkey":"665387356","img_gettyflag":true,"img_reusableflag":false,"img_rightsflag":false,"img_usrid":0,"img_pan_crop":null,"img_tags":null,"img_reference_name":"getty_665387356.jpg","img_caption":null,"img_custom_credit":null,"img_bucketref":null,"img_panoramicref":"getty_665387356.jpg","img_super_panoramicref":null,"img_tile_override_imageref":null,"img_skyscraperref":null,"img_gallery_imageref":null,"credit":"Getty Images","sizes":{"panoramic":{"original":"uploaded_files/image/getty_665387356.jpg","1230x1672":"uploaded_files/image/1230x1672/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","1940x900":"uploaded_files/image/1940x900/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","1270x734":"uploaded_files/image/1270x734/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","0x734":"uploaded_files/image/0x734/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","1150x540":"uploaded_files/image/1150x540/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","970x450":"uploaded_files/image/970x450/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","640x290":"uploaded_files/image/640x290/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","635x367":"uploaded_files/image/635x367/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","0x367":"uploaded_files/image/0x367/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","575x270":"uploaded_files/image/575x270/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","385x240":"uploaded_files/image/385x240/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","336x336":"uploaded_files/image/336x336/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","300x520":"uploaded_files/image/300x520/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","300x200":"uploaded_files/image/300x200/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","284x160":"uploaded_files/image/284x160/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","155x90":"uploaded_files/image/155x90/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","100x100":"uploaded_files/image/100x100/getty_665387356_409876.jpg","50x50":"uploaded_files/image/50x50/getty_665387356_409876.jpg"}}}]" formatted_text ":! "

I love meeting new people [But" network " may seem uncomfortable and forced, like a blind date or "compulsory fun" in the office. & Nbsp;

n

It's even worse if you don't know what to say to break the ice . & nbsp;

n

After 20 years as a writer and journalist, I learned a bit about asking people good introductory questions, and keeping & nbsp; so if your 2020 resolution gets better at this, I hope you'll find it useful.

n

Below I share my best general tips, plus 10 examples of questions you can use to start conversations, they will continue the discussion and make people feel positive about you and remember you.

n

First, the superior tips ne. All effective icebreaker questions have three important things in common:

n

    t

  • They are open . The one thing you don't want to do is ask a yes or no question, or that can be answered in just a few words. Your goal is to awaken conversation.
  • [

  • They are specific . This may seem like the opposite of open, but it's not. You will focus the conversation, hopefully on a topic that will be interesting and even fun, but cause you to put your foot in your mouth.
  • t

  • The & Multifaceted . Preferably, you will ask a question that will suggest the answer to several other questions. So if you ask someone about what they did over the weekend, you might also ask about their family, friends and values.

n

Listen to the answers!

n

I cannot emphasize this enough: It is a more basic, crucial tip before we get into the example questions. & Nbsp;

n

When you ask an icebreaker question, you must listen actively to the answer!

n

So many people forget this. They ask the question, the other person starts talking, they immediately turn off - looking for someone else to talk to, or decide the answer wasn't interesting enough.

n

Remember that your job is not done with one question.

n

Instead, listen and come up with two to three follow-up questions. & nbsp;

n

That's how a real conversation works.

n

Here are 10 examples to get you started:

n

1. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; If our industry did not exist, what do you think you do for a living? & nbsp;

n

I like this one to start because it's professional, but it's not predictable or boring. Depending on the answer, you can immediately go back to talk about the industry you are sharing, if it seems more appropriate. Or you can ask follow-ups that can tell you a lot about the person you just met.

n

2. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Have you ever had a bad job? (Follow-up: Did you learn anything useful from that?)

n

I asked subscribers for my daily email newsletter about this question, and the answers were amazing. Much talk about working in restaurants. (My bad job history was about working in a customer center.) Almost everyone has a story like this, and most people like to share the bright side, if they can identify it. & Nbsp;

n

3. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; How was your first apartment?

n

This is a great question because it can lead to nostalgia, and it's probably about a time before they achieved their current success. People like to talk about it. If you happen to ask someone who is still living their first apartment, it opens up a whole other line of inquiry.

n

4. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; Have you had 15 minutes of fame? & nbsp;

n

Claire Lew on Know Your Team is honored for this. It can be defined in so many ways, and sometimes you learn fascinating things about people. So far, my 15 minutes had to do with quitting a job after a day, writing about it, being interviewed on national television, and wound up with my picture on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon . But I hope for a better way.

n

5. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; What are your favorite children?

n

I love this one because you actually ask several questions. One is whether the other person has children. If they do, and you do, boom: instant report. But even if they can't, they can reach into childhood, or to their experiences with nieces or nephews or other children, and come up with an answer.

n

6. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; You just learned that they make a movie about your life, and you control the cast. Who's going to play you?

n

Again, you ask more than one question - both who will play them (often based on appearance), but also: why should they make a movie about you? What would it be about? The follow-ups almost write themselves.

n

7. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; What fashion trend should we bring back?

n

As an alternative: "What word should we all start using again?" But I think people sometimes get blunt when you ask them words. Everyone can talk about clothes. & Nbsp;

n

8. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; What is the biggest change you have experienced in the last 10 years?

n

This will be especially good for a few more weeks as we launch a new decade, or if you & nbsp; icebreaking on a New Year's Eve. I used it on my email newsletter and you learn interesting things. In real life, I asked an acquaintance lately, who replied, "It's simple. Get out of jail." I had no idea.

n

9. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; What's the best thing you've read lately?

n

I like to ask it this way because not everyone reads many books, and some people feel self-conscious about it. So the best "thing" they've read & nbsp; can refer to an article or blog post (or a column on Inc.com). You really wonder what they think is interesting. Most people like to talk about it.

n

10. & nbsp; & nbsp; & nbsp; What exactly did you do a week ago?

n

You can give the person good feed for a story, or you can ask them to swing quickly. & nbsp; For example, my literal answer to this question right now would be: "Packing to go away for Christmas." But it could easily lead to a description of where we went and what we did, and it would be far more interesting.
& nbsp;

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