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The Glenlivet Capsule collection is just glorified tidal coatings



Screenshot: @ TheGlenlivet / Twitter

In an effort to appeal to the Tide Pod generation, Glenlivet has released its “Capsule Collection, which consists of small portions of alcohol ingrained in edible seaweed packaging. You don't need ice, a stirrer or a glass to consume the capsules, but it's not like those things were hard to come by.

This is a terrible way to enjoy a cocktail. I appreciate alternative, biodegradable packaging, and can see the bags used by marathon runners who do not want to wear dorky water belts, but cocktails are made to be sipped not shot, and these are nothing but disturbed Jell-O shots.

Based on the advertising video – and what I've read about Notpla (the edible membrane) – consuming these inoculations seems unpleasant. You place the bottom in your mouth and pop the diaphragm with your teeth. Your mouth is then flooded with alcohol, making its journey through the esophagus and into the stomach, leaving you with a tasteless, quite stretchy, rather chewy seaweed membrane hanging in your mouth. You then have to decide whether to spit or swallow, a dilemma I don't want to be confronted with at the bar.

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Fortunately, the cheeky Gushers won't be available in my country soon when they were created for London's cocktail week, which concludes on Sunday. These whiskey pods are not a hack, and in fact symbolic of the worst kind of "hack" – the kind that no one asked for . These pods try to solve a non-existent problem, to lift something that was already appreciated, and to fix what was not destroyed. In short, it's crazy.

Can tang packaging be used for good, useful things? Yes. This type of delivery system is likely to be appreciated by people with limited mobility in their hands, and moving away from plastic packaging is in most cases a positive thing. But cocktails with limited time, small portions, which are stirred, leaving a literal movie in their mouths, are not, no matter how much they love. Rather than choosing millennials' nihilistic sense of humor and wrapping it up as a lukewarm, lazy marketing ploy, The Glenlivet should try to make a more affordable scotch for avocado support eaters. We don't actually want to eat tidal slices, but we like to drink, and we deserve to drink a glass.


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