Here are some of the scariest revelations in the Elon Musk text dump • TechCrunch

A new, particularly juicy document has surfaced in discovery ahead of the Elon Musk v. Twitter trial, which is set to take place in a few weeks. See: a series of texts between Musk and key figures at Twitter, such as founder Jack Dorsey, chairman Bret Taylor and current CEO Parag Agrawal, and other casual conversations with investor Jason Calacanis and even Joe Rogan.

There’s a lot to unpack here, so let’s get started.

“I don’t think I should be the boss of anybody”

Elon Musk doesn’t want to be the boss. It’s a big revelation for someone who is the CEO of more than a few companies.

In an early April conversation with Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal — before their relationship sour to the point emojis – Musk admitted that he does not like being a leader.

“Honestly, I hate doing mgmt stuff. I kind of don’t think I should be somebody’s boss. But I love helping solve engineering/product design problems,” Musk told Agrawal.

Musk and Agrawal’s relationship seemed promising at first.

“Treat me like an engineer instead of a CEO,” Agrawal told Musk.

Throughout their conversations, founder and former Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey routinely speaks highly of Agrawal’s engineering prowess. But on April 26, Dorsey, Musk and Agrawal came together on a Google Hangout to discuss the takeover. Judging by the lyrics, it didn’t go well.

“At least it became clear that you cannot work together. It was enlightening, Dorsey said.

Count your blessings that you don’t have to pay Doge to tweet

Elon Musk has had some controversial ideas for Twitter, such as verifying all human users and making the algorithm open source (this was Dorsey’s idea first). But perhaps his worst idea yet is to combat bot spam by making people pay dogecoin to tweet.

“I have an idea for a social media blockchain system that does both payments and short text messages/links like twitter. You have to pay a small amount to register your message in the chain, which will cut out the vast majority of spam and bots. There is no throat to strangle, so freedom of expression is guaranteed.”

A few days later, on April 13, Musk’s idea took bigger shape.

“My plan B is a blockchain-based version of twitter, where ‘tweets’ are embedded in the transaction of comments,” he told Steve Davis, president of The Boring Company. “So you have to pay maybe 0.1 Doge per comment or repost of that comment.”

Fortunately, Musk later concluded that a blockchain-based Twitter would not be possible at this time.

Jack Dorsey is known as ‘jack jack’ in Elon’s phone

We already knew Dorsey was aboard the Musk takeover train. But in these texts, it seems that the two founders really respect each other. So much so that Dorsey was given the pet name “jack jack” in Elon’s phone. Sweet!

As early as March, Dorsey and Musk talked about the future of Twitter.

“A new platform is needed. It cannot be a company. This is why I left,” Dorsey said. When Musk asked what Twitter should look like, jack jack replied: “I think it has to be an open source protocol, funded by some kind of foundation that doesn’t own the protocol, just promotes it. A bit like what Signal has done. It cannot have an advertising model.”

In a public comment in April, Dorsey said that “Elon is the singular solution” that he relies on. But he was equally supportive of Musk in private.

“I appreciate you. This is the right and only way. I will continue to do what it takes to make it work,” Jack told Musk.

Gayle King: Buying Twitter is a ‘gangsta move’

Elon Musk doesn’t employ a communications team and generally doesn’t like to talk to reporters. But unfortunately, he’s talking to Gayle King, co-host of CBS mornings.

“ELON! You buy twitter or you offer to buy twitter Wow!” the news anchor told Musk. “Now, don’t you think we should sit down together face to face, this is how kids today say a ‘gangsta move.'”

We’re pretty sure the kids don’t say this. But it’s worth noting that Gayle King is one of very few women that Musk ever talks to over hundreds of texts.

Musk then told Gayle King that Oprah should join the Twitter board.

“Maybe Oprah would be interested in joining the Twitter board if my bid is successful. “Wisdom of humanity and knowing what is right is more important than so-called ‘board management’ skills, which mean almost nothing in my experience,” Musk said.

To be honest, we wanted to see an Oprah interview with Elon Musk.

Joe Lonsdale wanted to connect Musk and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis

Joe Lonsdale, who co-founded Palantir and now runs the venture firm 8VC, also appears. Lonsdale recently made comments blaming black culture for racial disparities in funding and calling men who take paternity leave “losers,” for context.

“I love the ‘Twitter algorithms should be open source’ tweet…” Lonsdale texted in late March. “Our public squares do not need arbitrary sketchy censorship.”

Musk responded with “Absolutely. What we have right now is hidden corruption!”

Lonsdale stopped by in mid-April. “Haha even Gov. DeSantis called me right now with ideas on how to help you and outrage at that board saying the crowd is rooting for you,” Lonsdale wrote. “Let me know if you or anyone on your side wants to talk to him.” (Musk responded with a short and brutal “Haha cool.”)

Jason Calacanis volunteered to be Twitter CEO

Angel investor Jason Calacanis couldn’t help but slide into Musk’s lyrics in April when news of the offer to buy Twitter was out in the wild, joking that Musk would raise his offer to $54.21 — “the perfect counter.”

“You can easily clean up bots and spam and make the service viable for many more users — removing bots and spam is much less complicated than what Tesla’s self-driving team is doing,” Calacanis wrote. “And why should blue chins be limited to the elite, the press and celebrities? How is that democratic?”

Calacanis also came the next day and offered more unsolicited advice, including his proposal to cut Twitter’s workforce by more than half to make the revenue math more favorable. “Day zero,” Calacanis wrote. “Sharpen your knives boys. 2 days a week Office requirement = 20% voluntary departures.”

He also suggested that Twitter recruit MrBeast to create original video content, as well as dip a toe into more monetization features for creators with video — a “huge unlock” — that gives video creators 100% of ad revenue up to their first $1 million , then share the proceeds.

Both Musk and Calacanis agreed that Twitter Blue is “an insane piece of shit” and the features should be razed and re-evaluated outright. “These dipshits spent a year on Twitter Blue giving people exactly…nothing they want!” Calacanis has sent text messages.

When Musk asked if he wanted to become a strategic advisor if the deal fell through, Calacanis swore the text equivalent to an oath to Twitter’s future owner: “Board member, advisor, whatever … you have my sword,” Calacanis wrote. “Put me in the game coach! CEO of Twitter is my dream job.”

His enthusiasm appears to have landed him in hot water with Musk soon after.

“What’s up with you marketing an SPV to randos? This is not ok,” Musk wrote in May. “Morgan Stanley and Jared [Birchall, Musk’s wealth manager/right-hand man] think you are not using our friendship in a good way.”

Calacanis defended himself by describing how the Musk/Twitter deal “captures the world’s imagination in an unimaginable way,” hence why he took it upon himself to show investment interests.

“You know I ride or die bro — I’d jump on a grande [sic] for you,” Calacanis said, earning himself a tapback.

Joe Rogan was overwhelmed

“I REALLY hope you get Twitter,” Joe Rogan texted on March 23. “If you do, we should throw one hell of a party.” (Musk responded with the 100 emoji.)

Rogan also asked if Musk would “liberate Twitter from the censored happy mob.”

“I will give advice, which they may choose to follow,” Musk said.

Riot Games President Mark Merrill thinks Elon is Batman

We quote directly without comment:

“You’re the hero Gotham needs – yes, yes!”